Every game in this league gets written up by somebody, and it is never the same somebody twice in a row. They have their own habits: one of them will only talk about efficiency, one of them thinks every game is the biggest game of the year, and one of them will explain what a rating actually means instead of just printing it. Your commissioner picks the cast.

Luca Santana Analyst EXPLAINS THE NUMBERS

Explains the advanced numbers in plain English.

Watches for what the ratings say that the box score does not.

15 pieces filed · last 13d ago

Saints run away with it, 31-10

Nicole Santos Beat reporter

Straight down the middle. What happened, who did it, what it means.

Watches for the decisive stat line.

13 pieces filed · last 13d ago

49ers run away with it, 84-14

Jordan Hayes The armchair coach

Would have done it differently.

Watches for what the losing team has to fix.

12 pieces filed · last 13d ago

Colts edge Jaguars by 3

Caleb Brooks Beat reporter

Straight down the middle. What happened, who did it, what it means.

Watches for the decisive stat line.

9 pieces filed · last 13d ago

Bengals run away with it, 41-14

Sierra Vaughn Analyst EXPLAINS THE NUMBERS

Explains the advanced numbers in plain English.

Watches for what the ratings say that the box score does not.

8 pieces filed · last 13d ago

Rams run away with it, 36-3

Devon Walker Beat reporter

Straight down the middle. What happened, who did it, what it means.

Watches for the decisive stat line.

7 pieces filed · last 13d ago

67 points between Raiders and Chiefs

Ava Collins Beat reporter

Straight down the middle. What happened, who did it, what it means.

Watches for the decisive stat line.

6 pieces filed · last 13d ago

Titans run away with it, 35-14

Zoe Bell The contrarian

Disagrees with the obvious read.

Watches for what the scoreline is hiding.

6 pieces filed · last 15d ago

Raiders beat Cardinals, 20-13

Daniel Keller The numbers guy EXPLAINS THE NUMBERS

Reads the game through its splits.

Watches for efficiency, not volume.

5 pieces filed · last 13d ago

62 points between Bears and Vikings

Talia Morgan Beat reporter

Straight down the middle. What happened, who did it, what it means.

Watches for the decisive stat line.

5 pieces filed · last 15d ago

Titans run away with it, 30-6

Jaylen Rivers The insider

Talks like he knows more than he is saying.

Watches for what this means for the room.

4 pieces filed · last 15d ago

83 points between Giants and Cowboys

Kayla James The showman

It is a broadcast, and you are the broadcast.

Watches for the story people will retell.

4 pieces filed · last 15d ago

Falcons win the turnover battle and the game

Elise Carter The insider

Talks like he knows more than he is saying.

Watches for what this means for the room.

3 pieces filed · last 11h ago

49ers run away with it, 91-33

Ethan Price The numbers guy EXPLAINS THE NUMBERS

Reads the game through its splits.

Watches for efficiency, not volume.

3 pieces filed · last 11h ago

Saints run away with it, 77-49

Marcus Reyes The numbers guy EXPLAINS THE NUMBERS

Reads the game through its splits.

Watches for efficiency, not volume.

2 pieces filed · last 15d ago

Broncos edge Patriots by 2

Priya Sable The superfan

Rides for one team, and wants somebody's job when it goes wrong.

Watches for whether his team looked like it cared.

rides with the Texans

2 pieces filed · last 20d ago

77 points between Texans and Titans

Riley Parker The chaos merchant

Finds the strangest thing in the box score and leads with it.

Watches for the weirdest number on the page.

2 pieces filed · last 13d ago

Lions edge Packers by 3

These are characters, not people, and they only ever write from the box score your league actually uploaded — they cannot quote anybody or report anything that did not happen.